AI vs EI?

AI elicits strong feelings – many people are worried, others are enthusiastic, some are nervous, even fearful, others thrilled – no-one seems to be neutral about it!

AI is undeniably appealing with its promise of ever more efficiency and convenience, releasing us from repetitive, mindless tasks, evaluations and decisions, increasingly freeing us up for more time, efficiency (really?) ……… and what exactly? While I don’t wish to dismiss the fervour for all the potential benefits, - and it’s in all our lives whether we like it or not - I do wonder whether all the convenience AI increasingly provides is really of true value to us, ultimately? And when we raise concerns, are they the right ones?

For in our pursuit of ever more convenience and reliance on AI, we may be at risk of over-egging what AI can do, - AND at the expense of underestimating the value and importance of our own human capacities.  

While the discussion about exactly which human qualities AI can or cannot develop rumbles on, we know for sure that there are layers of innate human qualities, capacities, talents and skills that AI does not and cannot have. Yet still we are still predisposed to interact with chatbots as if they do have those skills, as if they are human. (I can only conclude that our ancient brain which hasn’t really evolved for three thousand years, is responsible for this. As my friend and colleague neuroscientist Tibisay Vera says ‘we have an ancient brain living in a modern world.’ ‘It explains a lot!) To be honest, because AI is designed to act like a mirror, reflecting back and imitating our communication and behaviour, it can be disturbingly easy to mistake it for a human or even a friend – It is a very convincing illusion indeed.

As enticingly easy to overlook reality as this makes it, we are actually replacing our own human abilities with the convenience of AI, addiction to instant communication, and reliance on to the powers of algorithms, to our peril.

The fact is that AI cannot feel curiosity or a sense of wonder; it looks backwards and takes all its information from the past; it cannot originate or be truly creative or feel inspired, it’s transactional; and while it may be good at mimicking, it cannot feel love or in fact any emotions at all, most particularly it cannot feel empathy so therefore cannot be empathic, much as it might be programmed to create a convincing impression.

As humans, we really do need these qualities and faculties -in genuine form- if we want to be mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy. We need them in order to relate, to understand each other, to learn, to create, to grow, to procreate, and to love.  For humans to function (never mind to thrive), we require that our capacities for felt emotions, emotional intelligence, relational skills, creative imagination, thoughtful reflection, and empathy, to become abilities – for they are what make us uniquely human.  

And here’s the rub, they don’t develop automatically, they are capacities that need to be nurtured, practiced and developed into capabilities. Whether we are in any relationship, most especially as leaders and parents or teachers, they are critical abilities! But ironically, these are precisely the abilities that appear to be on a downward spiral of ever-diminishing human proficiencies.

As we rely more and more on AI and spend less and less time on the interactions, habits and behaviours required to build and strengthen those human emotional and relational skills, they are progressively weakening. The very abilities we need to thrive and to be happy - nay to even function well - are the very abilities we are neglecting, not valuing, and so becoming worse at.   

When we lose sight of the significance and value of anything, - in this case our uniquely human aptitudes, as we seem to be doing - we don’t invest in them any more that we invest in anything we don’t deem as important. Our priorities drift from human connection to machine-providing convenience, and our human selves gets left behind – to paraphrase neuroscientist Dan Siegel, what we don’t use, we lose.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting we can stop the progress of tech and AI – much as we might like to, we cannot. However, I am suggesting that within this increasingly artificial and machine learning driven society, we must make sure our species don’t lose touch with the value of our distinctive human qualities. In fact, we need to increase the focus on developing those capacities, in our children, our teams, our communities and in ourselves, ensuring they become and remain abilities in us all, - because we actually need those skills way more than we ever did.

How do we ensure this, you might ask?

Well, here’s a few suggestions we can start with:

• More deliberately prioritising activities that build and strengthen those EI and relational skills

• Having conversations without phones or screens present

• Having phone-free meals with social conversations

• Prioritising daily meaningful face to face conversations with and listening to our children, in person

• Prioritising meaningful face to face conversations with our teams and colleagues; and as far as we can in person

• At work, we can stop expecting people to perform as if they were machines, instead maintaining room for the enhanced performance humans can give, if and when they are treated like humans

• Individually, we can give way more priority to being fully present with each other, prioritising in-person human connection over convenient messaging

• Commit to not allowing phone calls or texts to interrupt our every conversation

• Most importantly, we can ensure we take time daily to tune into our bodies and emotions, to breathe thoughtfully and make sure we are fully present with ourselves.

Ultimately, we must remember that it is in the connection with each other, uninterrupted, when we express our thoughts and feelings and interact face to face with the response we get, that we process and develop ideas and opinions. When we converse in person, the feedback from others’ verbal responses, questions, tone, facial expressions and body language helps us clarify and process our own thinking, and emotions.

While AI will never make human emotions, inspiration, connection, or love obsolete, it is our choice whether we allow this AI evolution to make those and our other unique human powers so weak that our need for them puts us in permanent stress – a level of stress that will be harder to undo than to avoid, and would be unnecessary, given that all we have to do is give it our considered attention, now.

I am moved to quote one of my favourite singers Michael Mayo: ‘Hindsight is 20/20, but mindsight is worth more than gold.”

If all this resonates with you, we're here to help! For consultations and coaching to address and build all of those brilliant human skills, and for more on our programs -current and upcoming- or to contact us regarding talks, mentoring, or facilitation, please email us here.