'Tis the Season - Are You Jolly?

I am wondering about the Christmas spirit …….. if some may find it particularly hard to conjure that up right now? Or maybe it’s a good distraction?  We certainly need a reason to feel good, that’s for sure! But then I also wonder why it’s just at this time of year?

I used to live on Kauai in Hawaii, and there I learned about the Aloha spirit. It’s similar in that it’s also about love, and being welcoming, open and kind to others. I recall one Kahuna (essentially an Hawaiian wise elder), saying “The Aloha spirit is easy to do in paradise. The trick is to carry that spirit wherever you go and wherever you are.”

I’m thinking the same applies to the Christmas spirit……… Could that be an appropriate New Year’s intention? For me – definitely!

So how to carry that good feeling with us, and generate it every day? It’s one thing to say ‘breathe’ or ‘Centre’ or ‘tune into that inners smile’ I hear you say, but sometimes it feels impossible! I agree wholeheartedly. But I have also found that it IS possible – and  that I feel a heck of a lot better myself when I do,... never mind the people around me!

Here are a few tips in difficult situations that I have found helpful:

1: When you have to set a boundary: As soon as you know you need to, don’t wait (it will get worse and harder to do). Take five if need be, to centre yourself, and set the boundary in as kind a way as you can. If it’s with family or your partner, own your feelings rather than pointing a finger (for example ‘This really isn’t working for me. I feel ………. I’d really like to find a solution that works for both of us, so maybe if we take a break and get into a better emotional space we can come back and talk about it to find another way to ……’ A version of this can work with colleagues or co-workers too. The key is to create a way to say it that is in your own authentic kind language. To check, ask yourself ‘Is it necessary? Is it kind? Is it helpful?’

2: If you’re a ‘chronic ‘yes-person’ and the result is an ever-increasing stack of duties, try the occasional "no." If that's too difficult, try a qualified yes. "Yes I can, if I have John's help," or "Yes, I can if Lucy picks up some of my other assignments."

3: Create a script for yourself. Identify if you experience a particular difficult situation regularly. Take time to write down what the situation is and how and what you feel. Accept your emotions and write down all you can until you have it all down. Then take a pause and go for a walk, take a stretch-break, do a heart-centred meditation. Then come back to your issue and compose a way to express yourself to make whatever change you need, in a way that is aligned with your values. Plan when you can use it.

4: Show sincerely felt appreciation. Start every day with an intention to show appreciation, particularly to anyone you find difficult to deal with. At the end of the day, take a few minutes to appreciate your good moments!

5: Each time you catch your own reflection in a mirror or glass, SMILE! It works!

Happy holiday season everyone - may the Christmas/Aloha/Seasonal Spirit be with you!

And do check out our videos - helpful meditations, visualizations and tips & tools Also a visualization for children! ...........All great for holiday season stress, or just to feel good.